Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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