I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My vagina is officially offended.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
