So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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