Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
