well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
