don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
