Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
jump out the window naked night went bad
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
