So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize