I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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