DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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