check it out our google latitudes are spooning
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
