i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
