so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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