The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
