Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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