I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
