he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
