Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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