i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
farters have to be the big spoon...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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