bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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