Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Farmville is her only friend.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize