The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize