And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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