Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i out mim tonsoeep
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
