Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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