it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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