im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
