so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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