If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
