Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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