Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He better not be in your backpack
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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