Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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