My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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