I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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