Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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