He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
