There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
