he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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