did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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