Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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