Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
