there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
