We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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