Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need a beard to bite.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
