I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
