i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
