dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
