I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
