Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
