Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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