is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
