Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
