You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
