yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
