I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
