So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
