i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize