I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
