Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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