He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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