just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
