You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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