We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
