i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
vagina is talking i cant
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
