Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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