there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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