We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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