Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I touched a dick in church today
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
