its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
