she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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